Mentoring

Imperfect Change (#193)

We all know that change is hard; as much as we might want it, embracing it is another thing altogether.

Change is also particularly difficult when we have invested our time and effort in a specific direction. We often don’t want to admit that we made a mistake or that the game has changed so we double down on the wrong decision. It’s a psychological phenomenon called the “sunk cost fallacy.”

While a common tendency, it’s essential to recognize it when it happens. The reality is that, to create something new, we often must destroy or give up on something old, a concept known as “creative destruction.”

This is the circumstance I found myself in with the Friday Forward website. About a year ago, I updated the site and had a clever idea to make it look like pages of a journal. The truth is, the older site, which was simpler and had more contrast, provided a better user experience for readers, especially those reading it on their mobile devices. As such, more people shared it with others.

After investing a lot of effort in that new site, I found it difficult to acknowledge that my cool, clever idea might not have been cool or clever and hadn’t been the right move.

In addition, as is often the case, circumstances also changed. Around the same time of this redesign of Friday Forward, I launched a personal website, RobertGlazer.com, which became the new home for my book features and the Elevate Podcast. However, this left Friday Forward disconnected from my other work and writing.

I spent time convincing myself that there were a variety of reasons Friday Forward needed to be separate but, in retrospect, it was really because having them separate was familiar and easier. I also knew that merging Friday Forward into the other site would require a lot of work.

So, what changed my perspective? In this situation, it was feedback from a friend, Adam Reimer, who I consider to be a marketing ninja. When I asked for his advice about whether I should merge Friday Forward into RobertGlazer.com, he asked a few questions about how people used it and the connection to my other work. After listening to my responses, he simply said, “Of course you should.”

And there it was. The very obvious answer that I knew to be correct deep down, but needed someone else to tell me.

After this conversation, I realized that I’d once again fallen victim to the sunk cost fallacy and that it was time for some creative destruction. The result is a simpler design of Friday Forward and a new official home on RobertGlazer.com, which launches today.  The old site will be redirected in the next week.

Are there still bugs in this Friday Forward transition? Absolutely. Some we know about, some we don’t.

The reason why we chose to launch today is because we set a firm date, which is an important component of preventing procrastination. If you always wait until something is perfect or ready, it won’t get done and you will miss out on opportunities.

Here are my learnings from this realization and process:

  • A good way to know if you should make a change is to ask yourself, if you were starting something from scratch, would you make the same decision?
  • It’s easy to convince yourself why you should not change. This is why it’s so vital to get out of your echo chamber and talk to others.
  • There is never a “good time” for change or something new. However, once you know you determine that you really need to do something, the best time to do it is now.
  • There is no reward without risk.
  • Firm deadlines are powerful motivators.
  • Don’t worry about being perfect. Make it bad, then make it better.
  • Ask stakeholders whose opinion you value for feedback.

Excited for you to check out the “new” Friday Forward and, if you find something that is broken, please let me know!

 

Quote of The Week

“The only thing that is constant is change.”

 

-Heraclitus

The post Imperfect Change (#193) appeared first on Friday Forward.

The Entrepreneurial Spouse’s Survival Guide | Adam and Kerry Anderson | Episode #643

Kerry Anderson:

Kerry is an accomplished pediatric nurse, author, and speaker. And oh yeah, kept two kids alive, fed and in a seemingly healthy mental state. She runs the household and is the glue that holds the family together.

Kerry is the mastermind behind “In Bed with the Business,” an Entrepreneurial Spouse’s Survival Guide. This Amazon best seller was the foundation for the Whole Life Entrepreneurship methodology. Kerry discovered that applying business systems to the family brought some much needed order to the chaos between her and Adam.

Kerry is not 100% comfortable standing up and saying, “We figured it all out! Here is how marriage works.” Rather, she has stated time and time again, “These tools saved my marriage and then enriched it. I would love to share it with others and let them know that they are normal, they are OK, and that they are not alone.”

Adam Anderson:

Adam started life as a military brat in the air force, growing up in Germany and Florida. No, he doesn’t speak German anymore. Yes he can speak Floridian. He dropped out of the University of Utah after 96 credit Hours of downhill skiing, snow shoe camping, whitewater kayaking, rock climbing, and wilderness survival (Only got a B- on that one so trust, but verify in an emergency).

After saving the world from Y2K, Adam got into Cyber Security and has been in that world for 20 years. 15 years ago he launched his first of many companies. He has 14 failed companies (he calls these his non-profit work) and one successful exit. He currently has 5 companies in flight and raising a seed round for one of them.

Adam is the author of 4 books on cyber security and has given one TED talk on the subject.

Adam spent 3 years as the Entrepreneur in Residence at Clemson University’s MBA program and has developed a true love of helping other entrepreneurs get started or take the next step. He does this through working with incubators and accelerators, being a member of numerous entrepreneurial organizations, writing books, giving key notes, and coaching.

He discovered that business success without also success in the family was a hollow thing for him. He is now a practitioner of “Whole Life Entrepreneurship”, a methodology and community he founded with his wife. His mostest favorite thing to do in the world is craft adventures for his wife, Kerry and their two kids, Eva and Kenton.

It is completely appropriate to ask for his assistance when it comes to entrepreneurial relationships, cyber security, public speaking, puns, and the journey through start up, cashing in, selling out, and bro-ing down.

 

Connect with Adam and Kerry:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wlemission/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCmdNV3sxCFrLZXlGXF89PuQ

 

SPECIAL PROMOTION

3 C’s Assessment for improving connection, communication and chill in entrepreneurial relationships

 

Take the Assessment Here:wlemission.com/peakperformance

 

PEAK PERFORMANCE NATION

A community dedicated to raising your game to the next level by learning how to Execute at the highest level and eliminating the obstacles that keep you from being the leader you were born to be.

Join group here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/PeakPerformanceNation/

 

SPONSORS & FREE OFFERS

Audible - Free Audio Book & 30 Day Trial 

Blue Apron -  $30 Off Your First Order

 

Acuity Scheduling - Stop Wasting Time Setting Up Meetings

Peak Accountability - http://www.thorconklin.com/accountability/

Thank you once again for listening

Please follow us on:

Facebook: Thor Conklin   

Twitter: @ThorConklin

Website: http://www.thorconklin.com

 

ThorConklin.com

Thor Conklin Media

Peak Performers Podcast

Peak Performance Nation

  

#1 Podcast on how to get things done.  Learn from Peak Performers in all areas of life and Business.  Do you know what to do but can’t figure out why you are not executing what you already know?   If so, this Podcast will give you the tools, strategies, and psychology to not only break through the choke point but to truly become a Peak Performer.  

Thor will be sharing his tools and strategies as well as interviewing inspiring Peak Performers that are Entrepreneur’s, Professional Athletes, Business leaders, Military, Technology guru’s, Health and Fitness masters, Relationships Experts as well as Music & Entertainment superstars.  

Mission and Purpose – To engage, educate, entertain and inspire listeners to excel in any area of life by mastering the science of execution and Peak Performance.  You will learn the necessary roadmap, strategies, tools, and psychology to win this game.

Character Coach (#192)

The first week of September means school and work are back in full swing for most of us around the word. Fall also marks the revival of parents shuttling their kids to their assorted activities, including practice for various sports.

I have a love/hate relationship with youth sports today. I think sports are great for kids; they get exercise, learn the value of being part of a team, hard work, practice and competition, and they also learn the discomfort of trying something new.

My issue is with the parents. From my perspective, too many parents have gone from being spirited spectators to being overly –and sometimes viciously—invested in their children’s athletic endeavors and achievements. This includes aggressively coaching from the sidelines during the game and antagonistically engaging with referees (many of whom are kids) and other parents.

All this behavior does is create a fear of failure.

Somewhere along the way, a child’s individual success in athletics has become a more relevant benchmark of parental success. What happened to honoring kids who are great team players with good character?

I am currently reading David Brooks’ The Road to Character. In it, he defines character as “a settled disposition to do good” and “an unshakable commitment to living loyally and in alignment with your promises”.

Brooks explains that his core issue with Western culture today is that we are too achievement-oriented; too focused on the “Big Self” to emphasize the merits of developing character. He advocates for a “Humility Code” as a way to battle the self-saturated obsessiveness of the 21st century, as evidenced by the number of selfies, YouTube stars and helicopter/snowplow parents who seem to believe that their child is the center of the universe.

To be clear, I have no issue with parents investing time and energy in coaching their kids in athletics. I would hope, however, that those same parents would put as much or greater weight into coaching character. Sadly, what I’ve seen first-hand is conduct contrary to this. For example, parents who openly disrespect a referee. 99% of the time you’ll see that their kid does the same.

Data from the NCAA in the United States shows that about 5% of kids who play high school sports will go on to play sports in college. And less than 1% of those will have a career in professional sports. In other words, 99% of children will be done with organized sports when they graduate college.

Conversely,

  • 100% of children will be part of a team at some point in their adult life and career.
  • 100% will face a disappointment that requires resilience and poise.
  • 100% will need to learn to work with someone whom they disagree with and/or dislike.
  • 100% will have the ability to impact others with kindness or generosity.
  • 100% will be humbled or need to show humility.
  • 100% will have a challenging situation with a peer or friend.

This is the coaching kids will need for success, both in athletics and in life. If you are a parent, coach or educator and you truly want that for your kids, or anyone you lead, then my recommendation is to focus on imparting the following:

  • Showing respect when someone in a position of power (e.g. a referee) makes a decision you don’t agree with.
  • Helping someone up that you hurt, accidentally or intentionally.
  • Not losing your cool when something doesn’t go your way.
  • Saying no to peer pressure when everyone else is doing something you don’t want to.
  • How to have a difficult conversation (in person) with a friend who has upset you or whom you’ve upset.

While it’s always great to hear accolades about my kids’ performance on the field, as their parent, I’d much rather have someone tell me unsolicited they are a “good kid” or hear that one of my kids showed incredible sportsmanship or how they selflessly helped a peer. Those are skills that will take them further in life.

 

Quote of The Week

“We live in a culture that teaches us to promote and advertise ourselves and to master the skills required for success, but that gives little encouragement to humility, sympathy, and honest self-confrontation, which are necessary for building character.”

 

-David Brooks

 

 

The post Character Coach (#192) appeared first on Friday Forward.

Saying No (#191)

As you reach higher levels of success, you often have the ability to help more people, and more people are likely to ask for your help. At the same time, you still have significant responsibilities to your family, career, close friends and community; people already depending on you to give them your time and attention.

One person can’t be all things to all people. And those that try – by saying “yes” to everything that’s asked of them – will inevitably let themselves and others down.

Warren Buffett understood this all too well when he said, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

Personally, I’ve struggled to say “no” to others for most of my professional life. I’ve worried about coming off as unapproachable or, worse, that others will think I perceive myself as being more important than them in some way.

I’ve been on a journey to find a better way to say no, especially as my personal and professional responsibilities have increased. Then, last year, I listened to an episode of The Tim Ferriss Show, titled “How to Say No.”

The points he made and the advice he offered really got me thinking about how to say no in a different way. When I tested out some of Ferriss’ recommendations, I came to realize that I am actually happier and more productive when I say no to others and commit to less.

Here are three strategies, the third taken from Ferriss’ podcast episode, that have helped me get better at saying no.

  1. Give Up the Guilt

When you begin to feel guilt for saying no to another person’s request, be it for a few minutes of your time, a financial contribution or help with a time-consuming project, it’s important to weigh it against the other commitments you have already made that need your full focus.

If you’re able to do both and your priorities are aligned, great. However, if saying yes to the request will mean time and attention away from something meaningful that you’ve already committed to, then saying no is the right thing to do. Someone else’s passion or priorities may not be your own, and that’s okay.

  1. Know Your Core Values

I’ve written at length about the importance of having and living by core values. In addition to being building blocks for personal and professional development, something I refer to as Spiritual Capacity in my upcoming book, Elevate, they’re also guideposts for when to say yes or no to a request.

Next time you get an ask, take a moment to stop and seriously consider whether fulfilling that need speaks to your core values.

Time is both precious and limited. It’s essential to choose your commitments carefully and ensure they will move you toward what is most important to you.

  1. Leverage Templates   

When you decide to say no, how you choose to respond can make all the difference. In his podcast episode, Ferriss highlighted the similarities in the rejections he received when he asked successful people to contribute to one of his books.

Turns out there are some common denominators of a “good” rejection, including:

  • A personal acknowledgment of the individual making the request.
  • An admission of your own need to focus on other priorities given previous commitments.
  • A clear statement that you cannot help in this matter.
  • A note explaining that you are responding consistently in this way to all requests of this kind.

I have tried this approach and have found it to be very effective. You can find one of my templates here.

I’ve found people who get a lot of requests, tend to have a lot of templates. They might have one for declining speaking engagements, another for declining a podcast appearance, one for saying no to a meeting, etc.

Each time you field a new type of request, consider taking an extra minute to turn your response into a template. This can make it easier to say no respectfully and thoughtfully to similar future requests.

There’s great value in learning how to set limits without guilt. In the end, you might discover that saying no is the best way to say yes to something that will enable you to make your biggest contribution.

 

Quote of The Week

“Your obligation is to the highest point of contribution you can make.”

 

-Greg McKeown

 

 

The post Saying No (#191) appeared first on Friday Forward.

Monthly Goal Check-In | Thor Conklin | Episode #642

How are you doing on your annual goals?

 

PEAK PERFORMANCE NATION

A community dedicated to raising your game to the next level by learning how to Execute at the highest level and eliminating the obstacles that keep you from being the leader you were born to be.

Join group here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/PeakPerformanceNation/

 

SPONSORS & FREE OFFERS

Audible - Free Audio Book & 30 Day Trial 

Blue Apron -  $30 Off Your First Order

 

Acuity Scheduling - Stop Wasting Time Setting Up Meetings

Peak Accountability - http://www.thorconklin.com/accountability/

Thank you once again for listening

Please follow us on:

Facebook: Thor Conklin   

Twitter: @ThorConklin

Website: http://www.thorconklin.com

 

ThorConklin.com

Thor Conklin Media

Peak Performers Podcast

Peak Performance Nation

  

#1 Podcast on how to get things done.  Learn from Peak Performers in all areas of life and Business.  Do you know what to do but can’t figure out why you are not executing what you already know?   If so, this Podcast will give you the tools, strategies, and psychology to not only break through the choke point but to truly become a Peak Performer.  

Thor will be sharing his tools and strategies as well as interviewing inspiring Peak Performers that are Entrepreneur’s, Professional Athletes, Business leaders, Military, Technology guru’s, Health and Fitness masters, Relationships Experts as well as Music & Entertainment superstars.  

Mission and Purpose – To engage, educate, entertain and inspire listeners to excel in any area of life by mastering the science of execution and Peak Performance.  You will learn the necessary roadmap, strategies, tools, and psychology to win this game.

Want More Impact… Add Humor | Andrew Tarvin | Episode #641

ANDREW TARVIN is the world’s first humor engineer, teaching people how to get better results while having more fun. Combining his background as a project manager at Procter & Gamble with his experience as a stand-up comedian, he reverse-engineers the skill of humor in a way that is practical, actionable, and gets results in the workplace.

Through his company, Humor That Works, Drew has worked with more than 35,000 people at over 250 organizations, including Microsoft, the FBI, and the International Association of Canine Professionals. He is a bestselling author; has been featured in The Wall Street Journal, Forbes, and Fast Company; and his TEDx talk has been viewed more than four million times. He loves the color orange, is obsessed with chocolate, and can solve a Rubiks Cube (but it takes like 7 minutes).

 

Connect with Andrew:

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drewtarvin

Twitter: https://twitter.com/drewtarvin

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drewtarvin/

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/drewtarvin/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/drewtarvin

 

PEAK PERFORMANCE NATION

A community dedicated to raising your game to the next level by learning how to Execute at the highest level and eliminating the obstacles that keep you from being the leader you were born to be.

Join group here:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/PeakPerformanceNation/

 

SPONSORS & FREE OFFERS

Audible - Free Audio Book & 30 Day Trial 

Blue Apron -  $30 Off Your First Order

 

Acuity Scheduling - Stop Wasting Time Setting Up Meetings

Peak Accountability - http://www.thorconklin.com/accountability/

Thank you once again for listening

Please follow us on:

Facebook: Thor Conklin   

Twitter: @ThorConklin

Website: http://www.thorconklin.com

 

ThorConklin.com

Thor Conklin Media

Peak Performers Podcast

Peak Performance Nation

  

#1 Podcast on how to get things done.  Learn from Peak Performers in all areas of life and Business.  Do you know what to do but can’t figure out why you are not executing what you already know?   If so, this Podcast will give you the tools, strategies, and psychology to not only break through the choke point but to truly become a Peak Performer.  

Thor will be sharing his tools and strategies as well as interviewing inspiring Peak Performers that are Entrepreneur’s, Professional Athletes, Business leaders, Military, Technology guru’s, Health and Fitness masters, Relationships Experts as well as Music & Entertainment superstars.  

Mission and Purpose – To engage, educate, entertain and inspire listeners to excel in any area of life by mastering the science of execution and Peak Performance.  You will learn the necessary roadmap, strategies, tools, and psychology to win this game.